We deal with a lot of idiots in this world, as well as jerks, knuckleheads, and yahoos. Yet the Judeo-Christian ethic teaches us to be loving and accepting of all God’s children, no matter how stupid, slow, frustrating, or annoying some can be. But even nice people don’t think and say nice things all the time. So what do you do when you want to make a less-than-nice comment? You use a special vernacular ruse to kindly soften the blow.

Before I criticize someone about his (or her) actions, behavior, or just personality, I first say the phrase “bless his heart.” For example,

“Bless his heart, his mom never taught him how to use a fork and knife.”
“Bless her heart, she’s trying out a new look.”

But what I really mean is

“That person is an idiot, why can’t he eat like a civilized human being?”
“What was she thinking? Her hair is a disaster!”

Using the phrase “bless his heart” to deliver a insult under false sincerity was validated when I recently saw an interview with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi on CNN. Referring to President Bush, she said, “You know, God bless him, bless his heart, president of the United States, a total failure, losing all credibility with the American people on the economy, on the war, on energy, you name the subject.”

So next time you want to pack an insult, even about the President of the United States, you can do so with feigned kindness using those three sweet-sounding words and still be considered a nice, caring person.

**So if you’re dating Jenny and you just flat out say something rude about someone else, you’re a jerk. You should at least try to act like a nice person.