People love to set older singles up like they love to help an elderly person reach the bag of hard candy on the top shelf at the grocery store. They think, “here’s a poor, helpless individual who can’t really seem to make it on their own. How ’bout I lend a hand…” But whenever I’ve been set up, it seems like they don’t put much thought into it other than “he’s single and Mormon, and she’s single and Mormon, so they must obviously be a perfect match!” (Sorry, but it’s a little more complicated than that.)

 Below is a common set-up cycle many long-time singles experience.

1) You politely agree to be set-up. You think, “Sure, why not. What do I have to lose?”
2) You go. The guy is totally wrong. You ask yourself what the hell was your friend thinking.
3) You are annoyed you just lost 4 hours of your life. You swear off blind dates.
4) Time wears on. You get lonely. Memories of bad dates begin to fade.
5) Another offer. You tell yourself, “Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it another shot.”
6) Cycle repeats.

Set-ups are difficult to avoid because if you show any sign of hesitation, matchmakers either say, “it’s not like you have anything better to do,” or they try to reassure you with their Matchmaking Record, “Trust me. I’ve set-up one marriage and two other couples who are still seriously dating.”

I recently learned about a Matchmaking Record while watching a ball game with my friends DB and T-Rav. They started talking about setting me up with their roommate, who DB and T-Rav had previously suggested I meet but in separate conversations. I hesitated at the idea of another blind date, so DB and T-Rav started listing names of other couples they’ve successfully matched up. Then they started fighting over who would get official credit for matching me with their roommate! (I still haven’t met the guy.)

I didn’t really understand this matchmaking pride until I brought my friend and her little sis to a BBQ. Both girls ended up flirting with a couple of my guy friends (one who was infamously known for never dating). As I sat and watched the seeds of potential love plant themselves before me, I had an over-whelming “do-gooder” feeling. If either couple gets together, I thought, I’ll be the reason. And maybe, oh maybe, I had just made the world a better place.

(Neither couple made it past the first date. My current Matchingmaking Record: 0)

**So if you want to date Jenny, you’ll have to asked her out directly . She’s currently in the I’m-not-doing-blind-dates phase of the cycle.