Okay, soo I had my date. It was nothing special—just a quick lunch. This guy is actually really nice, and I really didn’t want to offend him, but I was determine to plant some “seeds of iniquity” so he’d see I wasn’t the girl for him.

I had no desire for a soft drink, but I ordered a Dr. Pepper anyway. Not that caffeine is that big of a deal, but I thought it was a good warm up.

Okay…I have to get across that I sometimes watch rated R movies, I’m voting for Obama, and I laugh with gay comedians.

So, my first topic of conversation:

“Thanks for being flexible with changing the times all around…” (I had to reschedule from dinner to lunch because I got last-minute tickets to meet the NPR commentator Juan Williams—nerdy I know.)
“I was planning to go see the movie Appaloosa this afternoon. Have you seen it?”
“No, I haven’t heard of it.”
“Ah, it looks like one of those old-time, bad-guy-verses-good-guy westerns. Did you ever see 3:10 to Yuma?”
“No.”
“Oh, it’s like that.”
“I don’t really watch movies.”

Is he against all movies in general? Hmmm…change of topic. Let’s drop the Democrat bomb:

“So I got tickets to meet Juan Williams tonight. He’s a NPR commentator who I’ve seen on all the news networks.”
“Don’t know him” (That’s okay. Only my dad knew who he was.)
“I really like him.”
“So you’re into politics.”
“Not usually, but I think this election has been very interesting. I haven’t decided who I am going to vote for, but I’m leaning towards Obama.”

I couldn’t really tell his reaction from this one. Actually, I couldn’t really tell his reaction from anything I said. Let’s try another.

“So this weekend I’m going to San Francisco. I’m going to see David Sedaris with my sister-in-law. Have you heard of him?”
“No.”
“I’m not sure what he is. He’s a comedian and a writer. He has a few books out that are pretty funny. I just bought one called Naked. He’s gay but it doesn’t dominate his humor—but who know’s if he lets loose in San Fran!”

He nods his head and looks down. I take that as a sign of judgment. Yes!

As for swearing? It crossed my mind, but I was too chicken to say something like “damn” or “ass” in front of him. I was making him uncomfortable enough as it is.

Okay, it was kind of a weak (and stupid) experiment. But my whole point of it was to prove that I fell from a different tree, and I shouldn’t be critized for not being interested. I thanked him sincerely for lunch, and we went our ways. I hope he doesn’t call, for then I would have to do the mature thing and actually tell him how I feel.

**So if you’re on a date with Jenny, and you feel the same way she does, show her your worst—you Sabbath-day-football-watching sinner you.