I feel a little bad about my last post. I really hope this guy doesn’t google my name and find it. Anyhoo, after reading my cousin’s comment on my last post (Hi Kelly!), I want to continue to discuss this topic of “pickiness.” So, let’s dive into this a little deeper and talk about The List.

The List refers to the list of attributes or traits a girl wants to find in a man, and I’ve broken it down into 3 different tiers.

• Must-Haves: The no-exceptions rules. These include religion, family aspirations, morals, some personality traits, etc.

• Nice-to_Haves: Things that are desirable in a mate but not deal breakers. These include common interests, family background, physical features, job, money habits, etc.

• Definitely-Nots: things that make you say “I would rather die a horrible death than marry that guy.” These include mental illnesses, addictions, really bad personality traits, etc.

The List is derived from experiences from previous relationships. For example, I seriously dated a guy who suffered from clinical depression, and it was horrible. So one of my Definitely-Nots is depression. Sorry, I just don’t think I can deal with it. Or let’s consider my best friend. Her List states the guy has to be a professional. She is a professional herself (a lawyer), and it’s just been a problem for her in the past dating guys who are insecure and intimidated by her success.

Granted, some items on The List are superficial like  “6’ is my minimum” or “he has to save the world from terrorists.” This is often a result of watching too many romantic movies. But The List changes over time as you live and learn what really matters and what doesn’t. Now I want someone who “holds my hair back when I’m puking” or “isn’t in a bad mood all the time.”

So when you say we’re “picky,” it’s because we know ourselves. We know what makes us happy and what doesn’t. The other day I asked my dad, “What would you think if I married a humble sports coach who made only $40,000 a year,” to which he replied, “it all depends on the guy.” Yup, it’s about the guy. He’s when everything you thought you cared about goes right out the window.

**So if you want to date Jenny, you have to be 6’ tall, 185 lbs, thick hair and beautiful blue eyes, and your second toe can’t be longer than the first. You must either be a doctor or a lawyer who won a NCAA title in tennis in college and started a non-profit organization helping women start small businesses in Africa. You also have to bake a killer chocolate cake (but not vanilla), speak French and Chinese, and play Stairway to Heaven upside down with your eyes closed.

Just kidding!