A Russian lady invited me to a drinking party last night. At least that’s what I think she did. Her accent was so thick that I really only understood 50% of her words. I met Litka at a party at the small gym I go to. I was just standing alone in the corner eating a brownie (just how I like to eat my brownies), when I noticed a tall, pretty, eccentrically dressed lady looking at me. I gave her a smile and she waved for me to come over, which I did.

After an introduction and few minutes of understanding half of our conversation, I realized her true intentions for wanting to talk to me—to introduce me to her friend. She then waved a man who looked to be in his mid- to late-thirties over and said to him,“you should take her out.”Or at least that’s what I think she said.

I ended up talking to the guy for awhile that night. He was a thirtysomething guy who was living between NYC and South Beach but was dragged to Utah a couple years ago for “work.” He looked east coast with a sweater turtleneck, long wool coat, and fancy shoes.

We were laughing about “ear muffs” (think Vince Vaughn in Old School) and that’s-what-she-said jokes and he started putting the flirt on when he asked me where I went to school. It was obvious he had his hangups about Utah and Mormons (and I never told him I was one of them), and I laughed knowing he wouldn’t like my answer. “Do you really want to know?” I said. He looked at me inquisitively but asked again, “Where did you go to school?” to which I replied, “BYU.”

The juke box stopped. His face froze in a look of horror as if I just told him his dog died. I couldn’t believe how upset he was, so I asked if he was okay.

He said, “Well, what happened? “

“What do you mean?”

“Why aren’t you Mormon now?”

“I am still Mormon. I’m still active.”

That answer didn’t make it any better as I saw his dreams of good wine and sex fade from his face. He was so upset that he said he needed a cigarette.

I laughed. “You need a what?”

“I need a smoke,” he said and excused himself outside.

I laughed again and told him he didn’t need to get so worked up about it. It was just my personal faith, and it shouldn’t need to trigger his nicotine fix.

We continued to talk outside for a bit. As he stood downwind from me, he kept saying, “it’s not me. I don’t care if a girl is Mormon.” Ha! You really think so? You seem pretty bothered by it right now.

At the end of the night, we didn’t exchange info, although Litka said he will be at the Russian drinking party. I don’t know if I’ll go. I don’t want to set another guy off on a drinking binge just because he found out I’m Mormon.

**So if you want to date or hang with Jenny, please understand she doesn’t like her personal belief causing guys to turn to addictive substances. She just likes to laugh and have a good time. (A good time in the Mormon sense of a good time, which you may be surprised to learn is still a pretty good time. At least with Jenny.)