I need your help. Yes, I’m talking to you, my dear readers, or at least what’s left of you.

My world is very different than it was back when I was blogging regularly. It was a time when I had to be somewhere everyday—working, talking, interacting, and contributing (hopefully), to the human race.

It was world of conversations—about work, annoying co-workers, annoying boys—everything that gave me good blog material. It was also a world of social opportunity, as I was regularly invited to hot tub parties and movie nights. Again, more blog material.

But my world today is vastly different. Regular human dialogue is now extremely rare, and my conversations have been reduced to talking to my refrigerator (why won’t you stop tempting me?) or my toothbrush (do you really think my teeth are pretty?). My current social life is checking status updates on Facebook and sending out mass texts to my phone’s address book in hopes at least one will rally for a brief text conversation before I go to bed at 10 p.m. It’s pathetic.

But that’s not the point. I just need more blog material. So that’s why I’m calling out to YOU—my cyber dfriends. I want to start a weekly post where I can offer solutions to your problems. This isn’t some narcissistic request because I think I give great advice; it’s a plea for my blog’s survival (and my mental sanity if I’m fishing for compliments from a dental cleaning tool).

But trust me—I can give great advice. Just ask my BFF Kat, my dog Champ, and my dad. I have each helped them in various aspects of dating, sitting, and understanding the interracial dynamics in Lord of the Rings.

Let me give you an quick example of what I’m talking about.

Dear Jenny,

I just saw a picture of my childhood love in the newspaper. I haven’t seen him in 7 years, and I am now engaged to someone else. I secretly went behind my fiance’s back to see him, and we totally hooked up. Now I don’t know whom I should be with.

From,
Cheating In The Name of Love

Dear Cheating,

I think you should dump both guys and move to the west coast where you can pursue your dreams—whether it be painting, swimming, or screaming for every different emotional reaction. Not many people know this, but your situation can likely lead to Alzheimer’s. But if you get out now, you can still save your head and your story from turning into a horrible Lifetime movie.

From,
Jenny

Now isn’t that great advice? Now it’s your turn. Email your questions to datejenny@gmail.com where you can receive great advice on life, love, politics—even cross-stitching and the pros/cons of killing Sean Hannity.

And thank you in advanced for saving datejenny.com.