“Geez, Jenny. Why do you have to be good at that stuff?”

That’s what a former co-worker asked me last fall while we were driving home from one of the few team-building activities that my department got to do. But this wasn’t a day of trust falls and rope courses; we simply went 4-wheeling in the Uintah National Forest. I was the only girl amongst the 4 guys. Well, I was actually the only girl left standing. There was another, but she crashed fairly early in the outing and headed home. I, on the other hand, was quite competent handling the machine—even more so than some of the guys, like Atkins. His question was covered in disdain, and it took me by surprise.

“Sorry?”

“If I was hanging with a girl, and she showed me up, I’d be pissed.”

I turned to asked my other co-worker, Chris, what he thought.

“Well, it’s cool when she keeps up, but if she were better? Eh, I dunno…” and his face kind of grimaced at the thought.

“So is it a problem that I’m good at sports and other guy things like 4-wheeling and shooting?”

“Jenny,” Chris said, “my advice to you is to be about 15-20% worse than the guy.”

Unfortunately, he had a point. My athletic ability has been a dating disability. I dated a guy a few years ago who wasn’t as athletic as I was. Whenever we played sports—skiing, golf, tennis—it was awkward. Awkward waiting for him constantly at the bottom of the ski hill. Awkward watching him hit his third mulligan while my ball was sitting in the middle of the fairway. Awkward beating him in ping pong in front of his friends. Needless to say, it wasn’t very fun for either of us to do things together.

I still wasn’t sure how big of an issue this was, until last week when this Girl-Better-Than-Guy issue came up again. I was at a party last week listening to a guy explain to my friend why he didn’t ask this girl (who was across the room) out on a second date. He said that on their first date, his car got a flat; and the next thing he knew the girl was jacking up the car and changing the tire like a Brooklyn-bred mechanic.

“Really? That’s the reason?” I piped in. “Did you feel like your manhood was threatened?”

Very candidly he said yes.

I decided to investigate further, “Well, what if she were better at sports?”

“Not if it’s a sport I’m good at,” he answered. I wanted to respond, “a sport you think you’re good at” but didn’t.

As lame as that may sound in the 21st century, I did appreciate his honesty. It comes down to the whole knight-in-shining-armor thing. Guys want to be big and strong; girls want to be rescued and protected.

And I’m no different. I want to date someone who can kick my ass. And although my athletic ability further limits my dating window, do I really want to be in a relationship where I have to hold back 15-20% so the man can feel like he’s, well, a man? Nope, I don’t. I want more of a man.

**So if you want to date Jenny, there are many sports she isn’t very good at. And if you want to guarantee your dominance, bring her to play one of the following: Basketball (conflicted with skiing growing up), billards, snowboarding (again, skiing), gymnastics (I have horrible air awareness), opening wine bottles (a sport in some countries), track (I’m coordinated, not cardiovascular), thumb wars, pull-ups (Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 is my hero), and more.