Updating my Facebook account has taken a new turn. I delete “Friends” rather than add them. Lately I’ve found myself annoyed by the clutter of status updates dotted with annoying caplocks and exclamation points about how happy someone is that it’s sunny outside, or how they are breast feeding at 2 am, or how they can’t wait for the next Twilight movie. When I see this, I now delete them.

Rude? Well, before I continue my thoughts on this, let’s go back a year or two and remember when we all first signed up for Facebook. Most of us originally scoffed at these social networking sites. “How weird? Why would someone want to know what I’m doing all the time?” But everyone was doing it, so you finally caved in and signed up. After ignoring your account for the first few weeks you slowly start to accept a few Friend Requests. Then more came in, and you found out your new Friends are Friends with evern more people you used to know. Momentum builds into this huge Friend-Request boom, which I like to call a Cyber School Reunion, with people from your past coming all out of the woodworks.

“Woah! How are you?! Three kids? Geez, that’s amazing! You married who? Haha, no way!”

Remember? It was kind of fun re-connecting with those old friends. But the momentum still continued, and you were accepting and sending Friend Requests from and to anyone you may have had a brief association with. With some people, you aren’t really sure how you know them, but because you have 36 Friends in common, you must have known them at some time in your life.

Then came the requests to play games and take quizzes, or join “the Katie-Is-Getting-Married group” and your LDS ward’s fan page. People stopped sending you regular email but sent messages via Facebook. Party invitations or flyers were replaced by Facebook Invites. And instead of picking up the telephone and giving you a call, people leave a message on your Facebook Wall (for everyone to read) about how you “need to call Joe and do something fun—ASAP!!!!!!”

Not that any of this is bad, per say. I’m just so amazed how dominant Facebook has become in everyday life. In some ways, it’s taking over our lives, and that’s why I’ve decided to take Facebook by the horns. And it starts with who I wanted to interact with on the site.

There’s no doubt I feel more connected to long lost cousins and childhood friends. I love Facebook for that. But when I see my News Feed cluttered with someone I met once at a party a year ago, or if I receive a mass invite for a garage sale for someone I barely know, it’s time to do some house cleaning. 

There are a handful of approaches to maintaining a manageable Facebook account. One person I know uses the same approach many people use to maintain an organized closet: You can’t buy a new pair of shoes unless you throw out another—You can’t add a Friend unless you delete another.

Another approach is to completely cancel your account and start over. Although it may seem catastrophic to do something so…rash, it’s a good way to go back to a small account to enjoy Facebook sparingly.

A more technical approach is to use the tools that Facebook has provided. I have a dear friend who has turned her privacy settings to the max. She’s not listed if you were to do a basic search for her, and only she can send Request to be Friends, not the other way around. It sounds a little extreme, but it’s her way make sure that weirdo in the cube down the hall doesn’t stalk her Facebook page.

And lastly, in what I believe to be the most effective way to control your Facebook homepage, is to scroll—then slash. Simple as that. Scroll your News Feed, and slash anyone you clutters your page.

But I’m not saying to go crazy like Edward Scissorhands. I may be Facebook Friends with someone I met for only a few hours, but if I thought that person interesting or intriguing enough that I wouldn’t mind reading his status updates every once in awhile, I’ll keep him. Even if I’m Friends with someone I’m indifferent towards, but she rarely uses her Facebook account, I’ll let her stick around as well. As I said before, I’m deleting the people I vaguely know (or knew), with whom I share no memories, with whom I won’t ever talk to again in the future.

All and all, I think Facebook is great when it’s tuned to be a lean, mean, social networking machine. Use it for its good. Condemn it for its bad. And in the meantime, take inventory and dump some Friends. It may help you become friendlier with the ones you actually care about.

**So if you’re interested in dating Jenny, don’t ask her out in a Facebook message. She’ll be more impressed if you go old school and pick up the phone and call.