Recently, the hand of a nice young man was around my waist when it accidentally made contact with my skin. Whether he was dropping a line or making an honest assessment, he told me he has never felt softer skin in his life.

Thanks, I said. I stopped showering so much.

Hold on a minute. You don’t shower everyday?

Nope. Once every two days usually, and sometimes once every three.

The idea of not showering daily shocked him in a way that was more confusing than gross—like I was a charity stripper at the Hickville Barn Bar on weekends. It didn’t make sense.

I tried to explain that showering everyday wasn’t necessary. It strips your hair and skin of natural oils—drying it out. And not to mention the time/energy drying and styling hair, cost of shampoo products everything. It clearly balances in my favor to go granola every other day.

Still unable to convince him, I ask if I’ve ever smelled bad.

No.

Well, there ya go, then.

I always suds up when I need it.

But there is one thing on which I never cut corners: oral hygiene. I religiously floss my teeth everyday, so when I learned he rarely did, my face grimaced as if he just ate an unwrapped tootsie roll off a public bathroom floor.

I mumbled how I’d much rather push the limits on body odor than tooth decay.

And to think I’ve kissed that mouth.

He flosses now—every OTHER day.