If you were presented with two slices of chocolate cake—one is cut nicely, garnished and served with a glass of milk, the other looks like it was scooped by hand and plopped on a plate—which would you choose? Even though they would both taste the same, you’d choose the pretty one, right?

Well, apply this notion to a guy deciding which girl to ask out. Is he going to ask the girl with the cute clothes, curls, and pretty makeup? Or is he going to ask the girl with the unflattering clothes, disheveled hair, and dark circles under her eyes? Even though they are the same person on the inside, the messy girls are shoved aside.

I shared this Chocolate Cake Theory with my co-workers after repeated quips about my messy hair. I told them it’s annoying to have to do the 45-minute routine day after day, so I often resort to just 5 minutes. My faithfully honest co-workers, as sweet as they appear, try to help me out. They feel I sometimes forget about my “situation” and remind me of the Chocolate Cake Theory. If I come into work with wet hair and/or no make-up, they’ll say, “Aw, Jenny, what did we talk about with chocolate cake?” or, “Jenny, we’re having a group picture tomorrow, so remember the chocolate cake.” However, they do reward me with praise, “Yeah, Jenny! Bringin’ out the chocolate cake!”

(To illustrate how honest they are, the first time I came to work without makeup, my co-worker Frank said to me, “Jenny! What happened to your face?!” And please note that I wasn’t offended and my self-esteem is just fine.)

I found out yesterday that someone secretly told my co-workers, “Ya know, Jenny can sometimes look really hot…and not.” I didn’t really know how to take that, but I thought it was funny. I guess I present two different types of chocolate cake. See, the thing is that I’m very fair. Not the Guinevere type of fair, but the pale-skin, light eyebrows/eyelashes, I-can-hardly-see-your-face type of fair. Very vanilla. Maybe in my case, I should call it the Vanilla Cake Theory.

So the moral of all this? Try. It’s somewhat about presentation. But find someone who loves you without makeup.

**So if you date Jenny, remember she has two different slices of chocolate cake. But whichever slice she presents, you’ll soon realize she is full of ooey-gooey, chocolately goodness.