Sometimes you have those moments that remind you just how single you really are. I had just that moment when I suddenly had an extra ticket to The Police concert with only a couple hours to find a replacement.

T - 120 minutes
Excited! I first call my bff. She’d appreciate the ticket. No answer. Maybe she was away from her phone. Try again. No answer. Again. No answer. Crap.

T - 110
Still optimistic. Time to start other calls. Not sure who to call but start scrolling my address book. “All right,” I think. “Who is worth a $100 ticket?”

Immediately plan of action: eliminate every guy who

A) I never called back

B) never called me back

C) is engaged or has a girlfriend

D) I don’t want to give the wrong impression that I’m asking him out

Hmmm…doesn’t leave me a lot of options. Let me think for a minute.

My strategy: send out a mass text and take the first to accept.

T-90
Anxious. No one has responded. Still have some time, but I keep scrolling. Diggin’ deeper. I go back to the elimination list. Wonder if Joe is bitter about never calling him back. What the hell…I call. Answering machine. No message. Probably for the better.

T - 60
Getting really nervous. Okay. Don’t want to waste a ticket. Just want someone fun. Why is it that no one answers his/her phone when you really need them? How about a co-worker; maybe he’d like the ticket. His text replies “Thanks but no thanks. Go ask out Starbucks boy.” Believe me, if I had a better option, I wouldn’t be calling.

T - 45
Frustrated. Forget boys. Who needs them? I call my girl friend. Nope. Can’t go because she’s going with a group to see a movie. If only she had known earlier that day. I don’t buy it. You’ll pass to see Sting live for a movie? Christian Bale will be here next week. Sting won’t. Don’t tell me you can’t break plans for a movie. Maybe there’s a cute boy in the group. Jealous.

T - 40
Try another. I call my engaged friend. She’d appreciate a free concert. I call. Says she might be able to go but on one condition: I’d have to go 45 minutes out of my way to pick her up and wait until she’s finished dinner with her fiancé. Doesn’t really make it easy for me. This is what happens when you lose a friend to marriage. She’d rather sit and watch tv with her fiancé.

T - 35
Annoyed. I call my older brother. Family can be fun, right? He flat out said he had no desire to go. Hates concerts. Do I appreciate the honesty or prefer a made-up excuse?

T - 30
Desperate. Really digging deep into the address book now. I call a friend I haven’t talked to in 6 months. No answer. I even call a person I got their number from a party, but never really intended to call. I don’t really know what to say to him/her. “Hey! I never call you because I don’t really have a reason or desire to hang out with you, but I kind of don’t have any friends right now, and I’m hoping you’ll step in as a pitch hitter.” No answer. He/She probably had no desire to hang with me either.

T - 20
Depressed. No returned calls. Sigh. I guess the cool single people have plans on Saturday nights. I take one last desperate attempt and call my bff. She always has weekend plans but maybe… Wait? She answers! No plans and you want to go? And you’re way excited? You can be ready in 20 minutes? Awesome. She came with wet hair and all.

T - 0
Rockin’ out! The concert and Sting (of course) was amazing.

Ultimately, I just wanted to give the ticket to someone who’d really appreciate it, and I did. Mission accomplished!

**So if you want date Jenny, know she likes to go to concerts and sometimes gets tickets at the last minute because she’s single. (People want her to find a date.) But that’s unpredictable, and it might be best just ask her to a concert. Below is a list of upcoming concerts Jenny would like to see.

8/4 – James Taylor – USANA
8/18 – Jack Johnson with Rogue Wave and Neil Halstead - USANA
8/27 – Dave Matthews Band - USANA

People love to set older singles up like they love to help an elderly person reach the bag of hard candy on the top shelf at the grocery store. They think, “here’s a poor, helpless individual who can’t really seem to make it on their own. How ’bout I lend a hand…” But whenever I’ve been set up, it seems like they don’t put much thought into it other than “he’s single and Mormon, and she’s single and Mormon, so they must obviously be a perfect match!” (Sorry, but it’s a little more complicated than that.)

 Below is a common set-up cycle many long-time singles experience.

1) You politely agree to be set-up. You think, “Sure, why not. What do I have to lose?”
2) You go. The guy is totally wrong. You ask yourself what the hell was your friend thinking.
3) You are annoyed you just lost 4 hours of your life. You swear off blind dates.
4) Time wears on. You get lonely. Memories of bad dates begin to fade.
5) Another offer. You tell yourself, “Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it another shot.”
6) Cycle repeats.

Set-ups are difficult to avoid because if you show any sign of hesitation, matchmakers either say, “it’s not like you have anything better to do,” or they try to reassure you with their Matchmaking Record, “Trust me. I’ve set-up one marriage and two other couples who are still seriously dating.”

I recently learned about a Matchmaking Record while watching a ball game with my friends DB and T-Rav. They started talking about setting me up with their roommate, who DB and T-Rav had previously suggested I meet but in separate conversations. I hesitated at the idea of another blind date, so DB and T-Rav started listing names of other couples they’ve successfully matched up. Then they started fighting over who would get official credit for matching me with their roommate! (I still haven’t met the guy.)

I didn’t really understand this matchmaking pride until I brought my friend and her little sis to a BBQ. Both girls ended up flirting with a couple of my guy friends (one who was infamously known for never dating). As I sat and watched the seeds of potential love plant themselves before me, I had an over-whelming “do-gooder” feeling. If either couple gets together, I thought, I’ll be the reason. And maybe, oh maybe, I had just made the world a better place.

(Neither couple made it past the first date. My current Matchingmaking Record: 0)

**So if you want to date Jenny, you’ll have to asked her out directly . She’s currently in the I’m-not-doing-blind-dates phase of the cycle.

They say you should date a lot of different people. Choosing a life partner is like choosing a pair of shoes. To find the perfect pair, you have to try on a lot of shoes, walk around in them, try them with and without socks, try them with different outfits. (I could keep running with this analogy, but you get the point.) So, my friends and I are trying on a lot of pairs of shoes right now.

I’ve taken a good friend’s lead on nicknaming guys with whom you are…let’s say…socializing. (I don’t want to use the word “dating” because it carries too much subjective connotation.) But when we’re talking about guys, and believe me, girls talk A LOT about guys—whether they’re friends, love interests, has-beens, a never-was, whatever— we often have to use pneumonic devices to remember which guy we’re actually talking about. With so many common names like Jon, Jeff, Dave, and Steve, we often forget who we’re dealing with in our conversations (especially among a group of 2 or more girls).

We don’t necessarily replace guys’ real names with the fake ones. We may just say…

“So I bumped into Dave the other day at the store…”
“Wait. Dave….Who is Dave again?”
“Dave? You remember. He’s the one with The Lips.”
“Ah, yes. Daaaave. Please go on…”

…and we’re all right back on the same page again and the story continues.

Below are some actual nicknames we’ve used in the past year.

Mr. Symphony
The Italian
The Beard
Max on Main
Lips
Hot One
The Golfer
Mistletoe Matt
Carson the Crush
Sweater Party Scott

Anyway, you get the point. It’s just an easy way to keep stories (both past and present) straight among girlfriends. (And if we get our heart broken over the guy, we can seperate ourselves from the emotional pain of a personal name and remember him only by an impersonal nickname.)

**So if you date Jenny or one of her friends and merit a nickname, you probably won’t ever know you had one.