If I had to choose one image to associate with Southeast Asia, it would have to be the motorbike.

They’re everywhere. The streets Hanoi, Phnom Penh, and Ho Chi Minh are constantly filled with swarms of pint size motorbikes buzzing around like a mad hive defying the written rules of society. In other words, drivers don’t particularly obey traffic laws.

But after some time navigating the streets either by foot, in a tuk tuk (small carriage pulled by a motorbike), or on a motorcycle myself, I discovered there is actually some order in this chaos.

Below are some tips Jeff suggested on how to navigate the streets of Southeast Asia.

On foot.

-There is never a perfect time to cross the street, so you just have to step out into the road and pretend it’s a game of Frogger. However, you cannot make like a deer in headlights; you cannot hesitate. Suddening stopping is more dangerous than moving thru the traffic.

On motorcycle.

- Act indifferent towards other drivers on the road. If you are courteous, no one will be courteous to you.

- Do not check blind spots. For if they see that you see them, they won’t feel they need to stop.

-When passing via oncoming traffic, flashing your lights is essentially an invitation for a game of chicken, for if you flash your lights, you’re essentially communicating to the oncoming driver that won’t be the one that’s moving out of the way.

- When turning left, you do not cross the street then redirect in your own lane. Instead, turn left into oncoming traffic, staying off the side of the road until you have an opening to merge right into the correct direction of traffic.

- A horn is often used to let other motorists know where you are, so it’s used everytime you pass anything–car, kids, water buffalo. Also, there are lots of other horns you’re competing with, so the louder the better.

All of this was too much for me to take on my own, so I spent most of the time riding on the back of Jeff’s rental bike.

I did, however, finally get my own on our second-to-last day in the small beach town Mui Ne.

Other than a little bit of carbon monoxide poisoning, I’m still alive.

Here’s Jeff in Phnom Penh…

On the Beaten Path

When you visit a place that’s full of old people, you know you’re ON the beaten path.

Right now we’re on a little cruiser in Halong Bay, a beautiful enclove in the South China Sea known for its huge limestone cliffs that shoot straight up out of the water.

I was more excited to see this place over any other on my trip here based on the pictures I saw on the Internet.
And apparently so was everyone else.

This place is packed with tourists, which is fine. There are some touristy things you just gotta do when you travel. But when I was in a long line of 70-year-old Euro-looking people wearing bright white Reebok sneakers and navy blue windbreakers waiting my turn to walk thru one of the caves within these cliffs, I realized how commercialized Vietnam has become.

I kind of I feel that because I’m carrying a backpack on my back and staying in cheap guesthomes where I have to leave the nights on at night to deter the bedbugs from coming out to feed on me while I sleep, that I deserve more of the “real” Vietnam experience over someone with a more credit on their AmEx dragging a Samsonite suitcase on wheels. But if someone with a cane can visit the same places I want to visit, I don’t feel like I’m really being that adventurous.

But I don’t know if I’m really all that gutsy. Language, standards on acceptable sanitary conditions, and my blonde hair seems to always keep me on the beaten path. Last Spring when I ws traveling South America, my Spanish helped me connect with the locals and spend time away from the “What To Do” recommendations in the guidebook. That’s not the case here.

But I’m fine with it. The Vietnamese people are very warm and friendly; I have never seen faces smile so big. Sure, some are just trying to get me to buy a used John Grisham novel from their pile of books, but I appreciate the smile nontheless.

Below is a list of some interesting things I’m noticing about Vietnam:

-Very safe. Have never sensed any eyeballs on me. Granted, I’m with a dude who is 6′5, but I imagine the consequences of attacking a tourist are pretty severe in a communist country.

-Not a lot of smokers, compared to what I’ve seen in other countries.

-This is a spa lovers paradise. Hour massages for ten bucks. Ninety minutes for $17. And they are the best massages I’ve ever had. (But the beds are awfully hard. Like sleeping on a brick. A country needs cheap massages if they sleep on stuff like this.)

-Although the traffic is crazy, they don’t drive that fast, so it doesn’t feel that dangerous really when we pass people on the opposite side of the road through oncoming traffic.

-Hanoi, and Northern Vietnam right now, is cold and dry. I’ve been freezing the last few days. Definitely needed a parka at Halong Bay.

-And some others I can’t think of right now. I’ll throw them in later.

Next I’m off to Siem Reap in Cambodia to visit the temples of Angkor Wat. My fantasy of becoming Lara Croft Tomb Raider are finally going to come true! (Movie was filmed there, if you didn’t know.)